Dear Vartan! Your letter made me think deeply, even very deeply. Since I express my emotions very reservedly in front of strangers and unfamiliar people, it is out of the question for me to make a list of “my most advantageous qualities” and even more so “demonstrate them at every opportunity”.
But, digging deeper into my soul, I came to the conclusion that before much more often I was guided not by someone else’s words, but by my own actions. Even more: it turned out that I subconsciously do not believe other people’s words. I agree with the well-known aphorism (it is attributed to some diplomat): «words are spoken to hide thoughts.»
And I also had a firm conviction that an abundance of words covers up a lack of deeds. I remembered the proverb: «Nothing costs us so cheaply and is not valued so dearly as politeness.» If you rephrase it in relation to love confessions, which I never heard from you, then this is what happens. There is no need to give your beloved the “universe”, you can get rid of the “work of the vocal cords”. By the way, Vinokur did just that.
I tried to remember and analyze everything related to the attitude of different people towards me. Words were the least of my concerns. On the contrary, the more often I heard flattering words, the less I trusted them. Most of all, I trust such indicators as “trifles and coincidences”. And you and I had them for a year and a half, when you stubbornly did not notice my love. Remember, you went to Feodosia, our relationship was interrupted for six months. With you were only my poems. But as soon as I saw you on the platform of the Simferopol railway station, I felt that at the time of our separation our “energies” interacted, that is, we communicated with you, even when there was no information contact between us.