I have no right to make any claims to these selfless women, but while I delved into my scientific affairs, the children somehow moved away from me. This is especially true for Olenka. The girl grew up, almost without seeing her father, therefore she shuns me and prefers the company of a nurse — she is closer and more familiar to her. Probably, Olga Vasilievna, Olenkina’s future godmother, told you that at one time Natalya and I re-read a mountain of literature on child psychology. That was the theory. Children, however, were born and grew up, and we consistently put it into practice, at least tried to use the recommendations gleaned from books. For example, I remembered the phrase: for a child there is only “now”, and only after many years does he get a sense of time. Most people only by the age of forty or fifty realize what a day or a month is compared to the life allotted to them. The baby is in the eternal now. He is held in his arms — he is infinitely happy, if not, he grieves and yearns.
I will not allow the loss of a mother to be the loss of “everything in the world” for my children. By my example, I want to show them: an adult, mature person is characterized by grief, he can forget about everything for a while and immerse himself in himself, but only then to gain strength and adapt to new circumstances. Let the children benefit from my experience, let there be more objects, situations and people around them than they need at the moment, let them freely open and develop their abilities. And of course, the space around them should change sufficiently and often enough, but still not too abruptly and not too often.
Natalya and I set examples for our children with our natural behavior: we concentrated on everyday affairs, not paying special attention to them and noticing only when it was required, and only to the extent necessary. When the wife worked around the house, she allowed Amalia to participate in the cleaning as much as the girl wanted: to sweep the floor with a small broom, wipe the dust, or, climbing onto a chair, wash the dishes. Back in Turkey, Amalia, a baby herself, took care of her younger brothers to help her mother. And now I am convinced that she is doing this not out of obligation, but with love, while not forgetting about her childhood games or school assignments. I even think that caring for the little ones and the endless patience and love necessary for this are inherent in every child,